Ummmmm.....thanks?

“You have such a pretty face it doesn’t matter what your clothes look like”. 

“You are lucky to have those baby-bearing hips”.

“Well, what did your legs look like before”?  
-Doctor, checking on the 20 lbs. of water weight/swelling (per leg) after C-section

“We may have to go up a size on account of that ribcage of yours”.
-Tailor, while measuring me for wedding gown

“Hmmmmmmmmm.  Uh-huh."   (Long, thoughtful pause. Then, furrowed eyebrows, followed by deep exhale).  “Well.  I can see you are a strong woman honey, you’ll be able to get through anything.”    

“Next”. 

-Fortune teller

“Don’t worry about the post baby weight.  There are so many beautiful full-figured women out there”.  “Just look at Queen Latifah”.

“You have these brief moments of pure brilliance”.  “It’s an enigma”.