20 Questions

1.  What happened to your gum?
2.  Is that permanent marker?
3.  Why is there no poop in the kitty litter box?
4.  What is that smell?
5.   If you didn't EAT the food, then what happened to it?
6.  Why does my iPhone say I have 'new video' posted to You Tube?
7.  What happened to your underwear?
8.   Is that marker--or paint--on the dog?
9.   Why do I hear water running?
10.  How many times do I have to ask?
11.  Where are all the scissors?
12.  Why are there empty cheese wrappers under the bed?
13.  Did you actually eat the cheese?
14.  Is this melted chocolate?
15.  Why does my coffee taste like Windex?
16.  What did I just step in?
17.  What happened to all of my makeup?
18.  Why does it look like my shampoo is half filled with mouthwash?
19.  What do you mean 'what else' can you put in the washing machine?
20.  Are you serious?

@#$*(!&* fish

After reading a couple of books with my seven year old son at bedtime, he turned to me and said, "Mom, I can't BELIEVE they let us watch inappropriate videos at school"!

 "Really"?

He continued, "We were watching one of those 'Berenstain Bears' videos about pollution and recycling and there was a fish that totally said an inappropriate word".

"What did he say"?

"He said, 'How am I supposed to swim with all this goddamned trash in my way!' "