Paranoia

Anyone else ever feel like someone is watching them....or is that just me?  I’m not talking about the government pods in space with ultra-zoom lenses (cause we know that happens)-- I mean something more personal, like someone living in your attic, or hidden cameras planted in your home, or bugs on your telephone type of surveillance...

So we live across the street from a park, but do people have to park their vehicles directly across the street from my house?  Do they have to stay there for hours?  I mean how many utility vans need to be there in a day?  There are only 6 or 7 houses on my street.  Really?  Sears Appliance-- again?  How many times does the Culligan Man need to visit?

I was home alone one morning when I heard some suspicious noises coming from the front door.  I peered out the upstairs window and saw the top of someone’s head--he was wearing a brown ski mask and it looked like he was carrying something in his hands.   I quickly grabbed the phone and called my husband at work (isn’t that what most people would do during a home invasion?).  I then heard some loud thumping noises coming from the door, and I became completely hysterical.  

My husband asked me to calm down, and suggested I call 911.   Once I caught my breath, and could hear something besides the pounding of my own heart, I became acutely aware that the noises at the door had stopped.  I was convinced the intruder had given up, and decided to try the back door.  I tiptoed down the stairs in stealth mode to the kitchen where I stood, silent and motionless.  I glanced around furtively for a weapon, in case I had to use it.  Terrified, I forgot about my husband, still on the line--- “hello...........HELLO”?  

I whispered to him that I was trying to be quiet, to see if I could determine the guy’s next move.  My husband told me to go to the front window to see if I could see anything-- I steeled myself, kitchen butter knife in hand, and painstakingly made my way over to the window.  I carefully peered out, to see if I could catch another glimpse-- and then I announced,  “I SEE HIM!!  He’s heading back towards the street!!  He’s wearing a brown ski mask and dressed all in brown!!  He’s getting into the back of a van!!”  

My husband was quiet for a minute and said,  “He’s dressed all in brown?  Is his van brown?  Does it by chance say ‘U.P.S.’ ?"  "Maybe you should open the door and see if we have a package”.

So, as you can see my credibility isn’t great-- but still...!  Never hurts to be cautious, right?   

Now I completely forgot my point.  Probably from the brain scrambling waves in my computer.